haha that's golden, he should just stick the p plates up and it'll perform faster.
my advice is weight reduction, take a huge crap before going for a drive. Better yet you could remove the other seats, most of the interior, scrape off the sound deadener sh*t under the wheel wells, remove the spare wheel (who needs that anyway?!) as well as removing the jack and any tools. Only ever drive it on 1/4 tank of fuel too, that's the key for maximum performance - you don't want to have that excess fuel holding you back. for a turbo car keep it at least 1/2 full.
Think about all of the systems in the car that aren't necessary. you don't need air conditioning for example.
my 4x4 does mad skids with only 10L of fuel in the 130L tank so weight reduction is serious business.