Never had any say Panda

I can't even explain it.. I was sitting at a conference table.. Everyone was just nodding in agreement.. I just staring in disbelief. My internal filter momentarily disabled and I said 'How the f*ck does that work?'

Today the competence levels of people astounded me.. These are very senior people in a government department.. The kind of people that write the standards that everyone else complies with. Today one of them said the following while discussing drainage: 'The water starts off here, flows down beside the road, turns into a formed drain here and then it loops around and goes back to where it started' Dear sir you just solved perpetual motion and broke gravity. Congratulations..

There is a special one in every class bizkets

Might be different in souf straya. But black icing and humidity makes it friggin hard to stop the rest of the cake turning black.

Oh and looks good for a 2.5 hour jobby! Also pissed.. and I wouldn't attempt that. But I have been guilty of a few wedding cakes while under the influence. Always do pulled sugar when drunk. Makes it harder to feel your fingers burning.

Ganache under icing? I just saw black icing and shuddered.

Coz turn lane?

You know what I miss? Managers toilet. Seriously. In government there is a row of 5 crappers side by side with the partitions about 30cm off the ground. And apparently I'm not the only one who needs to do an 8:30 poop..

You should totally tell him about your last crap..

I wouldn't take the 2k. Especially if the owner thinks you stole his dog.. You did 'pick' his dog up. So if you start demanding money he could try and screw you over by telling the cops you pinched it out of his yard On that note. If you give the dog back, and he willingly hands over 2k...... don't tell the wife.

So.. I got sh*t loads of work done today. But I didn't receive a single email to my work account after 1pm. I seriously started to freak out so much I had to send myself a test email to make sure our email server wasn't down. Now I'm worried my clients are dead. 8 hours with no emails. That's unheard of

I actually got a drive in a brand new Kia the other day. Not sure what model. Luxury small sedan kind of thing. It was a great car inside. All the creature comforts you would want.

Balmy 22 degrees in this building. Wee bit chilly when I did a poop.

Wait.. they cancel deadliest catch in shark week? Or am I missing the point of the show only knowing the title.

You ever had one of those girlfriends that you couldn't have stayed with.. Talking 99/10 batsh*t crazy.. But every so often you think back and go.. Damn she was f*cking mental in the sack.. Why didn't I marry her.. Deep down you know the batsh*t crazy would have won.. Yeah she was a solid 3.5/10.. 4-5/10 when drunk.. 11/10 when drunk and listening to her talk for the accent.. I still have regrets that I ended that one..

far out.. Cake emails are the best!!! I can't do chatting.. Cause I'm a contractor and some plebs have a thorn in the bumhole about me 'getting paid more to do their work' f*ckwits.. I wouldn't be there if they did their job in the first place..

How do you pass time? Seriously. I get so fidgety sitting still I'd probably start vacuuming the office or something.

So I'm working in the government. I'm trying to run at about 60% of my normal work pace because they are easily impressed. But I don't have Internet access. So I don't know what else to do except nail into work. And I think I'm running at about 120%. Gotta slow down or I'll finish the work they gave me way too fast.

Top outcome fluff.. So in my day today: 1 - I cracked the sh*ts with my new team. 2 - At lunch time I realised I hadn't been given all the information I need and I had effectively wasted 4 hours. 3 - I cracked the sh*ts again 4 - I bought in my old team.. 5 - in 4 hours we got the program back on schedule. By tomorrow morning we should be running a week ahead. #governmentperformancetargets

Instead of pm'ing him.. everyone turn on their tapatalk sigs Sent from my Samsung not edge does jet have mod powers.

I don't understand people who stay awake all night to watch the tour. Seriously only 1 decent crash per 10-12 hours of TV viewing.

Battery percent screenshot inside battery percent screenshot. Battery percent screen-ception! !!!!

Then hack it back up cause choking on hair.

Started back in the government today. Aside from the usual meet my new team and have them pissed off from the get go that I'm younger than them all, there was the added awkwardness of certain new team members having been there for my awesome depression/alcohol/casino/strippers bender last year. Oh also when I did the handover of what's required I found out they are already a month behind schedule. Joys.

Been there mate. Was different.. I was good mates with him in school, good mates with her after school and when they started dating I was good mates with them both. He did the dirty on her I had been convinced by others. Everyone liked her she was such a sweet girl. Didn't deserve that. I told her.. he turned up at my place swearing black and blue he hadn't done anything. To say I destroyed my friendship with both of them is an understatement. They got married. This was 6 years ago. Slowly I've started to build a friendship with them both again. Only this year did I find out from her that he actually admitted to cheating. They had other issues but cared about each other a lot. They worked through it. But they both still blamed me for almost ruining their relationship. Go f*cking figure