Kv!

Happy Birthday Kv!!

Happy Birthday kvbaby!

Why did the tree cross the road?...A woman crashed into it.

Pippa Middleton's arse is like a JK Rowling book. You know Harry's going to be in it.

Parallel lines have got so much in common. It's a shame they'll never meet.

Went to a restaurant the other night and I noticed that the waitress had a black eye. I made sure I spoke loud and clear when ordering my food because she obviously had trouble listening.

I've just found that my Wii remote doesn't work if you take it out of the sync region. Much like my girlfriend.

It took a lot of balls for me to go on that show ''Embarrassing Bodies''. Three actually.

On my tombstone I want it to say: 'I didn't forward the text message to 15 friends'

Just asked my hairdresser for a Justin Bieber haircut. So she just shaved my pubes off.

"You can tell a lot about a person by their car." For example: If it's in a ditch, it's a woman.

Fool people into thinking you have a social life by going offline for a few hours.

Women are like a Rubik's Cube...You can spend ages trying to figure them out but, eventually, you will only end up smashing their face into a wall.

At least after the 2022 World Cup, Qatar will have some cracking stadiums to stone women in.

Motorists...Unless you've kidnapped it, nobody gives a I <3 Bananas if you've got a child on board.

Snow is a lot like people. They both go away when you urinate on them.

get over the 50th xr6 turbos