Corzza

The Kiwi slips three biscuits into his pocket with lightning speed. The baker doesn't notice. The Kiwi says to the Australian: "You see how clever we Kiwis are? Try and beat that!" So the Australian says to the baker "Give me a biscuit and I'll show you a magic trick!" The baker gives him the biscuit which the Australian promptly eats before asking for another biscuit. The baker is getting suspicious but he gives it to him. He eats this one too. Then he says again: "Give me one more biscuit to complete the trick". The baker is getting angry now but gives him the last one. The Australian eats this one too. Now the baker is really mad, and yells: "So where's this trick?" The Australian says: "Look in the Kiwi's pocket"

A man joins the navy. On his first day of training the instructor shows him around the base. "This is the gym, this is the mess hall, those are the showers & this is the sleeping quarters" he said. He went on, "Now over there behind the mess hall there's a barrel". "If you get lonely & a bit frisky you can go there & poke your thingy through the hole, it's most pleasurable". Then he added that that as a new recruit, he could go there on monday, tuesday, wednesday, thursday, friday & saturday. He then asked the recruit "so are you gay?" The recruit replied "no I am certainly not!" The instructor replies "well, your not going to like sunday's then, that's your day in the barrel!"

The wooden ball An old man walks into the barbershop for a shave and haircut, But he tells the barber he probably can't get all of his whiskers off because his cheeks are wrinkled from age. The barber gets a little wooden ball from a cup on the shelf and tells him to put it inside his cheek to spread out the skin. When he's finished, the old man tells the barber that was the cleanest shave he's had in years. But he wanted to know what would have happened If he had swallowed that little ball. The barber replied, "Just bring it back in a couple of days like everyone else does."

An Australian is travelling through Europe when he meets a lovely girl.They decide to keep travelling together. after 6 months of being together He says to her: "well we get along great we're having fun I think we should get married, she was delighted and off to the altar they go. Later on they find themselves at the swimming pool. He goes up to the highest diving board turns around and does a triple backflip summersault. Wow she says you're very good, Well I represented Australia in the last Olympics" he replies. Can you get me a drink ",she says, while I"m having a swim". Off he goes ,comes back 20 minutes later, she is still in the water, half hour goes by, she's still swimming, an hour later she's still swimming...after a couple of hours she finally comes out, and he says to her : "gee that was quite a long swim, were you a long distance swimmer or something"... "no, she say, I was a prostitute in Venice

Moaning!!

RightO I am outta here fellas, have a good one!

Ah mate lol no flattys thank goodness, just drained... I need a holiday!

Feeling kind of flat this morning

Moaning!!

You're one up on me hahaha

I have a feeling it is going to be a good week!

Australia tour of England and Scotland, 2nd ODI: England v Australia at Manchester, Sep 8, 2013 Australia 315/7 (50 ov) England 227 (44.2 ov) Australia won by 88 runs

How things going Adie?

I got a little excited haha

Moaning!

1st Test: Zimbabwe v Pakistan at Harare - Sep 3-7, 2013 Pakistan 249 and 419/9d Zimbabwe 327 and 120 (46.4 ov, target: 342) Pakistan won by 221 runs

Morning all!

Voting completed!!

Pakistan tour of Zimbabwe, 1st Test: Zimbabwe v Pakistan at Harare, Sep 3-7, 2013 Pakistan 249 & 419/9d Zimbabwe 327 & 13/1 (7.3 ov) Zimbabwe require another 329 runs with 9 wickets remaining Stumps - Day 4

Geez 4pm cannot come quick enough!

Just got off a conference call to the USA. FAAAAAAAAAAARK

What's cracking fellas? Swannies!

Pakistan tour of Zimbabwe, 1st Test: Zimbabwe v Pakistan at Harare, Sep 3-7, 2013 Pakistan 249 & 168/4 (70.0 ov) Zimbabwe 327 Pakistan lead by 90 runs with 6 wickets remaining Stumps - Day 3

Moaning!!

Outta here fellas!