Corzza

A few Mary had a little lamb variants that got emailed to me: MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB Her father shot it dead. Now it goes to school with her, Between two hunks of bread. MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB It danced in skips and hops, It danced into the road one day And ended up as chops. MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB It followed her to school, They tied a brick around its neck And drowned it in the pool. MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB You've heard that tale before, But have you heard she passed her plate And had a little more. MARY HAD A LITTLE PIG She kept it fat and plastered; And when the price of pork went up, She shot the little bastard.

Geez your almost there mate

Ouch! Sorry mate this is sad to see. Hope all goes smoothly with insurance

Name: Pete Age: 26 Sex m/f: Male Location city /state: NSW Occupation: Automotive, Customer Relations Manager Volvo Car Australia Currently drive: '09 FG F6 Ice White Next drive: 2012 GT-HO maybe Married: No

A seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and talk turns to their adventures on the sea. The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg-leg, a hook, and an eye patch. The seaman asks, "So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?" The pirate replies, "We were in a storm at sea, and I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. Just as my men were pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off." "Wow!" said the seaman. "What about your hook"? "Well", replied the pirate, "We were boarding an enemy ship and were battling the other sailors with swords. One of the enemy cut my hand off." "Incredible!" remarked the seaman. "How did you get the eye patch"? "A seagull dropping fell into my eye," replied the pirate. "You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?," the sailor asked incredulously. "Well," said the pirate, "it was my first day with my hook"

A skinny Irish guy goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this HUGE black guy standing next to him. The big guy sees the little guy staring at him, he looks down and says in a deep voice, "7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch d*ck, 3 pound left testicle 3 pound right testicle, Turner Brown." The Irish man faints and falls to the floor The big guy kneels down and brings him to, shaking him. The big guy says, "What's wrong with you?" In a weak voice the little guy says, "What EXACTLY did you say to me?" The big guy says, "I saw your curious look and figured I'd just give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me. I'm 7 feet tall, I weigh 350 pounds, I have a 20 inch d*ck, my left testicle weighs 3 pounds, my right testicle weighs 3 pounds, and my name is Turner Brown." The small guy says, "Turner Brown?!...Sweet Jesus, I thought you said, Turn around"!

A driver is stuck in a traffic jam on the motorway. Nothing is moving. Suddenly a man knocks on the window. The driver rolls down his window and asks, "What's going on?" "Terrorists have kidnapped Kevin Rudd, Wayne Swan, Julia Gillard and Anna Bligh . They're asking for a $310 million ransom. Otherwise they're going to douse them with petrol and set them on fire. We're going from car to car, taking up a collection." The driver asks, "How much is everyone giving, on average?" "About a litre."

Very nice!! Please post up your graph it will be interesting to see

A young couple were driving down the road one day, happily, deliriously in love and due to be married the next day. Suddenly, a large truck swerved from the oncoming lanes into their car! BOOM! And they both died. At the Pearly Gates, the young couple confronted St. Peter. "Sir, you have to help us! We were to be married tomorrow. Is there any way we can be married in Heaven?" "Hmmm," replied St. Peter, "I don't recall there ever being a marriage in Heaven. Well, let's take it up with God and see what he says." So they approached God with their plea. God sat for a moment, pondering the request. Then he looked down and said, "Come back in five years and >ask me again." Five years later, the couple approached God again, even more in love than ever and pleading that he allow their marriage. God paused for quite a while, musing over their request. Then he spoke, "Come back in five years and ask me again." And once again, five years later, the couple was again in the presence of God, more in love than ever and begging God's permission for the third time to marry. This time God smiled broadly and thundered, "Yes my children, you may marry!" Well, the wedding went off beautifully, the reception was huge, everyone thought the bride was simply.... breathtaking and the groom was soooo... handsome, and everyone was happy! Until... Two years later, the couple was back before God, and things were not looking so good. The couple had come to the realization almost immediately that although marriages were made in heaven, they didn't last very long there! And, in spite of their struggles to come to terms with the situation, they had decided there simply was no alternative but to get a divorce. Black clouds fractured by lightening rolled across the sky, and the ground shook with explosive thunder. God glared down at the tiny couple before him, his face becoming dark and angry, and he roared, "Divorce?! Impossible!!! It took us TEN years just to find a Priest in Heaven! Where are we going to get a LAWYER from?!!"

.....are known for this kind of rubbish. I know from experiance with their other brands they have. And they never seem to learn from their mistakes

A woman is having an affair during the day while her husband is at work. Her nine-year-old son comes home unexpectedly, sees the illegal lovers and hides in the bedroom cupboard to watch. Then the woman's husband unexpectedly comes home. She hides her lover in the cupboard, not realizing that her little boy is in there already. The little Boy says : "Dark in here." The Man says : "Yes, it is." Boy : "I have a soccer ball; do you want to buy it?" Man : "No, thanks." Boy : "My dad's outside, I'll call him if you don't buy it!" Man : "OK, how much?" Boy : "$150-00." A few weeks later it happened again and the boy and the lover were in the cupboard together again. Boy : "Dark in here." Man : "Yes, it is." Boy : "I have soccer boots." The Man, remembering the last time, asks the boy: "How much?" The Boy says : "$550-00." The Man says : "Fine, I will buy them." A few days later, the Father says to the boy: "Grab your ball and boots, let's go outside and have a game." The Boy says : "I can't, I sold them for $850." The Father says : "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that... $850 is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess your sins." They go to church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door. The Boy says : "Dark in here." The Priest says : "Don't start that sh!t again!" THIS IS MY CHURCH NOT YOUR FATHER'S HOUSE

This is really shocking! Not something you want to experience at all. My bet is the car has been sold?

Morning lads

It's the summer of 1957 and Harold goes to pick up his date, Peggy Sue. Harold's a pretty hip guy with his own car and a duck tail hairdo. When he goes to the front door, Peggy Sue's mother answers and invites him in. "Peggy Sue's not ready yet, so why don't you have a seat?" she says. That's cool. Peggy Sue's mother asks Harold what they're planning to do. Harold replies politely that they will probably just go to the malt shop or to a drive in movie. Peggy Sue's mother responds, "Why don't you kids go out and screw? I hear all the kids are doing it." Naturally this comes as quite a surprise to Harold and he says "Wha...aaat?" "Yeah," says Peggy Sue's mother, "We know Peggy Sue really likes to screw; why, she'd screw all night if we let her!" Harold's eyes light up and he smiles from ear to ear. Immediately, he has revised the plans for the evening. A few minutes later, Peggy Sue comes downstairs in her little poodle skirt with her saddle shoes, and announces that she's ready to go. Almost breathless with anticipation, Harold escorts his date out the front door while Mom is saying, "Have a good evening kids," with a small wink for Harold. About 20 minutes later, a thoroughly disheveled Peggy Sue rushes back into the house, slams the door behind her and screams at her mother: "Dammit, Mom! The Twist! The Twist! It's called the Twist!"

A young man goes into a pharmacy and says to the Pharmacist, "Hello, Could you give me a condom? I'm going to my Girlfriend’s place for dinner and I think I may be in with a chance!" The pharmacist gives him the Condom and as the young Man is going out; he returns and says, "Give me another condom because my girlfriend’s Sister is very Cute too”. She always crosses her legs in a provocative manner When she sees me and I think I might strike it lucky there too." The pharmacist gives him a second condom and as the boy is leaving he turns back and says, "Go on, give me one more condom because my Girlfriend’s mum is still pretty cute and when she sees me she always makes eyes, and since she invited me for Dinner, I think she is expecting me to make a move! During dinner, the young man is Sitting with his girlfriend on his left, the sister on his right and the mum facing him. When the dad gets there, the boy lowers his head and starts praying, "Dear Lord, bless this dinner and thank you for all you give us." A minute later the boys is still Praying; “and thank you Lord for your kindness." Ten minutes go by and the boy is still Praying, keeping his head down. The others look at each other surprised and his girlfriend is even more surprised than the others. She gets close to the boy and says in his ear, *"I didn't Know you were so Religious."* The boy replies, *"I didn't know your DAD was a Pharmacist.*

Jewish Kid: "Dad, please may I have $50?" Jewish Dad: "$40?!" Jewish Dad: "What the hell do you need $30 for?"

The Indian With One Testicle There once was an Indian who had only one testicle and whose given name was 'Onestone'.. He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone. After years and years of torment, Onestone finally cracked and said,' If anyone calls me Onestone again I will kill them!' The word got around and nobody called him that any more. Then one day a young woman named Blue Bird forgot and said, 'Good morning, Onestone.' He jumped up, grabbed her and took her deep into the forest where he made love to her all day and all night. He made love to her all the next day, until Blue Bird died from exhaustion. The word got around that Onestone meant what he promised he would do. Years went by and no one dared call him by his given name until A woman named Yellow Bird returned to the village after being away. Yellow Bird , who wasBlue Bird's cousin, was overjoyed when she saw Onestone. She hugged him and said, 'Good to see you, Onestone.' Onestone grabbed her, took her deep into the forest, then he made love to her all day, made love to her all night, made love to her all the next day, made love to her all the next night, butYellow Bird wouldn't die! Why OH, come on... take a guess !!! Think about it !!! You're going to love this !!! Everyone knows... You can't kill Two Birds with OneStone!!!

An Irish priest, Father Seamus O’Reilly, was transferred to far Western Queensland. One spring morning he rose from his bed in his parish. He walked to the window of his bedroom and as he took a deep breath he noticed a donkey lying dead in the middle of his front lawn. He promptly called the local police station... The conversation went like this: ''Good morning. This is Sergeant Jones. How might I help you?'' ''And the best of the day te yerself. This is Father O'Reilly at St. Ann’s Catholic Church. There's a donkey lying dead in me front lawn." Sergeant Jones, considering himself to be quite a wit, replied with a smirk, ''Well now Father, it was always my impression that you people took care of the last rites!'' There was long silence after which Father O'Reilly replied: ''Aye, dat 'tis certainly true; but we are also obliged to notify the next of kin.''

This is mythical and deep... truly beautiful... A man asked an American Indian what was his wife's name. He replied, "She called Five Horses". The man said, "That's an unusual name for your wife. What does it mean?" The Old Indian answered, "It old Indian Name. It mean . .. . .. . . NAG, NAG, NAG, NAG, NAG,

haha keep em coming

Il keep an eye out for you. Not too far away

Nicely! What cooler you running?

Seems this is the way forward!

Very beautiful blonde getting her Red FG F6 washed at baulkham hills (Sydney Car Wash) Didnt catch the the plates

I have changed mine. No noticeable power diffrence though