Buf-Phoon

Wordsmithing The Washington Post's Style Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year's (2003) winners: 1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with. 2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly. 3. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future. 5. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house,which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period. 6. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray painted very, very high. 7. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it. 8. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late. 9. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness. 10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.) 11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer. 12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you. 13. Glibido: All talk and no action. 14. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. 15. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web. 16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out. 17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating. And the pick of the literature: 18. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an as*hole. *********** Ever spoken and wished you could take the words back, or that you could crawl into a hole? Here are a few people who do.... I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blo* job?" I turned around and walked back out and never went back. My husband didn't say a word... he knew better. Melinda Lowe, 39, *** An insurance man visited me at home to talk about our mortgage insurance. He was throwing a lot of facts and figures at me, and I wanted to follow as best I could, so I told my 6-year-old son to run and get me a pad. He came back and handed me a Kotex right in front of our guest. Kathy Newman, 46 *** I was taking a shower when my 2-year-old son came into the bathroom and wrapped himself in toilet paper. Although he made a mess, he looked adorable, so I ran for my camera and took a few shots. They came out so well that I had copies made and included one with each of our Christmas cards. Days later, a relative called about the picture, laughing hysterically, and suggesting I take a closer look. Puzzled, I stared at the photo and was shocked to discover that in addition to my son, I had captured my reflection in the mirror - wearing nothing but a camera! Name Withheld *** I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if He could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls." Colleen Collins, 31 *** My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically, the boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my sister has never let me forget. Faye Emerick, 34 *** While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold ofher after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!" The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me were screams of laughter. Amy Richardson *** Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, and she was clean. Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while, so I asked him if he needed to go, and he said "No." I kept thinking, "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with me..." Then I said, "Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?" "No," he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo! I asked one more time, "Danny, did you have an accident?" This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over and spread his cheeks and yelled. "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!" While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing! He calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better by thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!

Auto T Sedan V manual SS Ute mmmmmmmmmmmm In my experience, Off the line down low there is not much in it all the way to 180ks ( private strip of tar). A rolling start @ approx 100ks the T by a weebit. All in all I wouldn't put my pay on the ultimate outcome.maybe T by stuff all. Hi Ho Hi Ho off to the track we go. WhiteTee

Peter Having personally witnessed the awesome performance of Brians's beast in person it would be foolish in the extreme to discount the mods done on this vehicle in terms of out n out grunt. But ..........like all significant mods it has yet to prove the tests of durability and time, APS et al fall into this bucket as well .Given the BA range is not much over 12 - 18 months old this is not suprising as most mods are still in the proving grounds. Certainly there has been opporttunity for other "After market marketers" to ply their respective wares yet, they have been conspiculously quiet, relatively speaking. One would automatically question as to why ? At this point I am not favouring one mod over the other , just wanting some balance . All in all the greater the feedback ( from all ) the better for the owners of the mighty T. Cheers WhiteTee

Onya Doc Enjoy the beast and of course that wonderful note Cheers WhiteTee

Well most of you guys have got me wacked so to speak , however, I was reasonably impressed with my 216 on the full

The odd traffic light derby and some spirited runs through the bendy bits just about sums up my competitive motoring experience. That said I would personally get a huge buzz out of a track day, so I'm 100% in agreement with Esky on a track day. Also possible that you may see me doing a few qtrs post mods just to give that a bash as well.

I live in the Hills , must be the T capital of Sydney , they are everywhere. Probably enough to start "Hills Chapter" cruises. Dont know how many are site members though as I dont spot any stickers. Just before Christmas in local supermarket car park I counted 8 Ts alone. 5 went through local carwash whilst I was there as well XR8s are starting to become more prevalent also. That said there is a fair old smattering of HSVs and SS thingees as well but mainly utes.

Peter Sorry to be a pain but I have a couple more questions. Does the new plug in version include bigger injectors for the ~$1650? If not how much more fitted? How much for the APS exhaust , from what I have read it reeks of quality ? Can it be purchased separately ? As you can tell Feb/March cant come quick enough. Cheers WhiteTee

Peter I have spent $399 0n SS Cold Air Induction & $150 on BMC Filter, exhaust is completely stock. Dont know the Dyno increases but after each addition there was noticeable increases in both power and smoothness of delivery particularly through low - mid revs. All in all pretty reasonable so far as the beast seems to breath better Next Step is APS stage 1 kit with plug in & injectors in late Feb. Looking for ~ 280 - 290 kw , is this realistic. Would also be interested to know what additional gains are achievable with APS zorst fitted at the same time ? Thanks heaps for all the great info posted

"We are all individuals" ... "I'm not ..." Ken IT IS nice not to be as common a muck. I'm an individual ya cant fool me. A bloody Individual etc etc. Who was that Knob anyway. That said ,WTF am I thinkin respondin to a colour wars post . Pffffftttt

PUI ( Posting under the influence ) is bad enough, given some of the rubbish I have posted after a few bevvies. Sorry all. But Driving..........these days you have got to be mad.What was he/she thinkin ???

The way this was explained to me is that when a speed limit sign is posted ie 80km/h then the road must have corner advisory limits posted on every corner where the recommended speed is less than 80km/h. this means that you get the yellow signs saying 45km/h etc. When the black circle with the line through it sign is posted the open road limit (100km/h) applies but the corners are not necessarily signposted so you should drive to limit of the conditions. I don't know if this correct and I'd love it if someone could confirm or deny this. Waz_J This is also my understanding. Pays to keep your eyes open on some of the secondary roads about the place. Even more difficult with no lines and skinny shoulders.

funny thing that mine does exactly the reverse, but not all the time.

Good spin mate. The road between Ballina and Byron via Alstonville ( not Lennox Heads ) is purpose built for Ts. Had many a good run through there. Watch out 4 the camera going up the hill in the 90 zone , you are just punching 3rd in the Auto & then the anchors .... Damn

Mate Well done. This is certainly a vote of confidence in the T . Hope its more enjoyable than your current ride .........if that's possible. Premium tunes certainly cant hurt though. I assume that you currently have premium stoppers ?

FordTech Whilst I always find your posts informative & big thanks too, there appears to be a huge communication gap between HO and the dealers. Either that or the dealers are full of B.S. An example if I may ( this has been posted before). Nov/ Dec took T in for brake shudder. Nup never heard of it on a BA !!! OK, why dont you machine the disks and replace shims . " dont know what your on mate but never heard of it " By this time the issue was far from new and the " permanent fix" well posted and established by this time.= FOB OFF.Required a call to FMC to get satisfaction. I actually enjoyed the bollocking the dealer got whilst I was on hold.Make me feel like a CS, not gain matee I'll give ya a tip Other dealers have been more helpful particularly those in other states and my thanks go out to them. Bottom line is FMC manufacturing and dealers are killing this car instead of maxxxing out on its potential. Instead of being on a winner , you guys have potentially ruined the rep of a great car.( Ford Tech this is at your co. not you) Please read my other post for some context. Sorry for the numerous rants tonight but I cannot sit by and lets the ineptitude of FMC ruin the rep of what is potentially a truly great car Surely FMC are getting the picture .............if not bad luck. one word ............CONSISTENCY rant over for now. WT

Dear All Not good news I am afraid. Went into corporate office today and ran into some people I have not seen in a while and got comments such as " how does it feel driving a Piece of fruit ?" "Your car is a sh*t box" ," couldn't pull the top off a RICE PUDDIN " Dunny door drivers are less complimentary. This car is getting a vewwwwy bad name. Personally .... touches wood I am happy ....for now.BCIHEO( Best car etc) But the issue is that there are more than numerous gripes( and most justified)and this is reaching the broader community. I would dearly love to see a sales trend over time to establish whether the beloved T is maintaining its status as a "cult car " or becoming a stay clear & high risk vehicle. FMC, I believe cannnot continue to enjoy the luxury of extended waits for this vehicle until there is a modicun of CONSISTENCy in build and performance. Anyone who has run a business KNOWS that current who gives a rats "go to market strategy" is setting its self up for ultimate failure. For you good people with some agro( me too at times ) FORD, F*&*ing listen to these people..... Geoff and Co stop conning yourselves that once the car is sold that you have a client. a customer/ shopper / consumer is a very different beast. On behalf of the grieved FM.................C'mon LIFT LIFT LIFT

Mate For me it is mileage recorded on April 1 . No this is not an April Fools joke. All fleet mnagement companies we have used at work have been the same Cheers

Micky_p Firstly welcome to the site , and trust you find it as enjoyable and informative as I have As for the T you will certainly notice the difference after the door S. Dont forget to post your initial impressions and pics on Monday after a weekend of driving and grinning. Ken will or one of his HgAg chums will no doubt give you a more unusual welcome.

Trumpy Sounds like an awseome drive , put me down + SWMBO

Despite a few minor glitches ie. Shudder , coolant leaking( all fixed by dealers) this is the best car I have had this includes a number of DDoors , Stock Falcons and an XR6. Only good thing about going to work is driving my T there and back. These beasts are also comfortable and a lot of fun for long haul touring. Buy another ......... yeah

Sash Please " T" me up a set

I am running a BMC filter and am very pleased with the result. Cost was $150.00

Crisso Probably have taken your post out of context ,was the double entendre intended ? , it cracked me up.

Owna Hear ya mate , the other day saw a HgAg XT with a GT wing , rest of the car completely stock , ie. wheels , no skirts etc etc. Bottom line it looked freakin ridiculous/ricey